When Piers Morgan asks you a question, you answer Piers Morgan. Unless you don’t. In which case, he cries.
I think that only goes halfway to wards explaining why Newt Gingrich knows so f**king much about elephants.
Obviously, he would be an elephant because they are the symbol of the GOP, but let’s all hand it to this man for going the extra mile. When everyone else just says “elephant,” Newt Gingrich gives you a Wikipedia article.
This is why, should we all just go to bed tonight and wake up cynical, I earnestly believe he could be a more fun nominee than the Mitt Romneybot 9000. Sure, he may not be able to win, doesn’t have the potential to rake in the millions in Wall Street cash he’ll need to steal from the Democrats and hasn’t really had much of a life since 1996, but he’d waste you on elephant facts in a debate, that’s for sure.