Barack Obama spent $150 million to win primaries he wasn’t going to lose.

Rick Santorum isn’t going away. He’s just not. Say what you want, do what you want, pretend what you will and with whom, this dude is in it for the long haul because, in short, he’s pretty much an asshole with no sense of mercy. Because a person with a sense of mercy would have cut out of this race ten weeks ago, before the sweater vests had gotten creepy and he had to resort to making ads with weird mashed-up Romney and Obama faces and telling people it was a giant conspiracy that he was going to lose. The next step is obviously predicting the coming Mayan zombie apocalypse will be heralded by the election of a Mormon. Except that he won’t talk about zombies because they’re not family friendly.

You think I’m joking but I’m actually not. Ask him about the zombie apocalypse and see what happens. Because we’re all f***ed. I guarantee you.


At this point, he’s forced Mitt Romney to spend something like $75 million winning a nomination that will probably be meaningless come November, and yes, I’m being a pessimist and yes, its because I’m trapped somewhere in the third book of Hunger Games. Which is fine. Its his prerogative to make everyone in America hate him. And its not like Mitt Romney having to trade in his car elevator for a couple of million in liquid campaign assets is going to kill him. You’re supposed to spend money walloping your opponent into the ground. This is Whack-a-Mole for real people.

Unless you’re Barack Obama, because, despite being actually being unopposed (as opposed to Mitt Romney’s mere figurative opposition) for his own nomination, has somehow spent $150 million running in the primaries.

By the end of February, the Obama campaign had earned more than $170 million, compared to just $75 million for GOP frontrunner Mitt Romney. Ryan Steufloff with WPA Opinion Research says each are spending tens of million to win primaries, set up offices in each state and put out the word about their campaigns.

“You’re looking at about a cost of just under $15 per vote that Romney has spent,” says Steufloff.  “For Obama, he’s really running unopposed so the numbers there are not at important or relevant.” But the Heritage Foundation’s Brian Darling disagrees, and points out the president has spent $150 million in primaries where he’s unopposed.

“The fact that he has spent more than all Republicans combined should really raise eyebrows for campaign finance lawyers, to understand why he needs to spend so much money so early in the campaign season,” says Darling.

There are two reasons that I can think of for this. One, that he’s afraid of being embarrassed at the convention by random lunatic who collects twenty delegates in a state primary somewhere and then holds them for ransom in order to prevent Obama from being unanimously elected as president of the Democrats OR, he’s in way worse shape than we thought he was. In terms of the former, that’s totally already happened and the DNC “took care of it” by counting on Randall Terry to be too dumb to actually name a delegate who was not himself. The latter seems outrageously outrageous, but plausible if you consider where Obama’s poll numbers have been in swing states. But this is also a primary, and he’s still being judged as a President and not as regarding a possible second helping, so the depth of concern is confusing, unless private polls indicate that without a firm, early foundation, he’s pretty much f***ed.

There’s a third possibility, of course, and that is just that his campaign team isn’t entire sure where the targets will be, and are only counting out places like Texas, where losses are all but guaranteed, and they’re starting early because they know Romney washes them on most issues Obama can claim as high moral ground. It also could indicate that there will be massive voter registration and GOTV drives in swing states, all of which need to be organized early, and all of which helped Obama immensely in 2008.

The good news for America is that this could be the first billion dollar Presidential campaign, which you should remember when, in the coming Mayan zombie apocalypse, you’re eating beans out of a can that you cooked over a fire started by the detonation of a nuclear weapon.

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