Jennifer Granholm doesn’t remember anything about being governor

Like everyone else, I used to live in Michigan. Then, we acquired a governor who had the economic sense of a houseplant. Accordingly, Michigan fell into disrepair and despite serious potential for growth, became the last possible state anyone would want to work in, including whatever was left of Louisiana after Hurricane Katrina. Jen ran the state’s economy into the ground for two terms before being limited, and promptly took her place on Barack Obama’s economic advisory team, which should have been a clue as to how America was going to ride out the international debt crisis.

I digress. In short, Jennifer Granholm was such a colossal f***up as governor of Michigan that it took a dude with a penchant for soft facism to bring the state back to any semblance of order. Jen, for her part, has spent the last year or so trying to revitalize her image, getting creepy facial moles removed, scrapping that clip of her on The Dating Game off YouTube, pretending to be an expert on the economy, and exhibiting signs of selective amnesia about her time in power.

Take this for example. On her CurrentTV show (ha!), Jennifer Granholm recently chastized the state of Florida for passing laws allowing everyone in Florida to shoot everyone else because the evil ALEC conference told them to or something.

Zimmerman claims that in shooting Trayvon he acted in self-defense based upon a 2005 law called “Stand your Ground.” Here’s what the law says: A person who is not engaged in an unlawful activity, and who is attacked in any other place where he or she has a right to be has no duty to retreat and has the right to stand his or her ground and meet force with force, including deadly force if he or she reasonably believes it is necessary to do so to prevent death or great bodily harm to himself or herself or another or to prevent the commission of a forcible felony.

“This law is part of the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC)’s cluster of pro-NRA bills that shot through legislatures in the past few years. Florida’s law was the first and 17 states now have a version of this law, many with virtually identical language.”

The assertion must have been popular because she repeated it on Twitter and did a follow up story for Current on which EVIL legislators might be listening to the EVIL ALEC and passing laws in their states that will TOTALLY DESTROY EVERYTHING and give guns to children and small pets and force us all to kill each other in a free-for-all for whatever food is left after the economy finally collapses. Because, OBVIOUSLY. And REPUBLICANS OMFG.

There are two things intriguing about her little temper tantrum. One, I have been to ALEC conferences, and you would be hard pressed to convince me that a meeting of mostly-older-than-50 state legislators is the epicenter of decision-making on when to plunge America into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Seriously. I once taught a class there on how to set up a Facebook. In 2011. People in the class might have still called it “The Facebook.” And that was after a class on the basics of staff management. There were no vampires. Actually, vampires would have made this more exciting.

And two, Jennifer Granholm clearly has forgotten which laws she passed – and championedwhile she was (a) governor of Michigan and (b) as far as I can tell, not attending any ALEC conferences:

Democratic Gov. Jennifer Granholm signed legislation Thursday that supporters say is aimed at strengthening and clarifying self-defense rights in Michigan.

People now will be allowed to use deadly force, with no duty to retreat, if they reasonably think they face imminent death, great bodily harm or sexual assault. They can use deadly force on their property or anywhere they have a legal right to be.

The legislation also protects people from civil lawsuits if they have used force in self-defense.

Gun rights advocates hearted Granholm big time for this step, gushing in the Free Press that “[t]he legislation, promoted by gun-rights activists, clarifies when a person can use deadly force in self-defense during break-ins, carjackings and other potentially violent crimes – even in incidents away from the person’s home. … The laws expands where a homeowner is allowed to use deadly force in self-defense from inside their house to garages, barns and yards. It also shields those who shoot in self-defense from costly lawsuits by their wounded attackers or their families.”

And its not like Granholm didn’t know what she was doing, either, or more plausibly, had been replaced by a clone of herself grown in a pod in Canada. As the Lansing State News pointed out, lots of Democratic legislators were very concerned about the implications of the bill, specifically on the ability of prosecutors to charge people who claimed they were acting in self defense, but it didn’t worry Jennifer Granholm, who fought for a few amendments to specifically protect domestic violence victims, but happily signed the bill into law without so much as a complaint.

So what’s the story? Maybe ALEC has a secret time machine and sent undercover operatives back in time to make Jennifer Granholm look bad? Or maybe Jennifer Granholm felt that such a law was best for her state while she was governor, but now that she needs ratings and notoriety she can’t get from pretending to be an “expert” her tune has completely changed?

The world may never know.

  1. Annie
  2. Pierce
  3. Kvothe
  4. Amazed
  5. Bill

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