Bill Clinton steals 90 seconds of your life.

Did you know that Barack Obama was President when Seal Team Six killed Osama bin Laden? Because he was. And did you know that people thought that was really cool? Because they totally did. Would Mitt Romney have issued the order to kill Osama bin Laden like Barack Obama did? No, obviously not, you peons. Because Mitt Romney is Mitt Romney and if he can’t fire someone or bore them to death, then what the hell is he supposed to do?

Yeah, exactly. Mitt Romney would not have killed Public Enemy #1. Or something. But Barack Obama did. And he’s not going to tell you about this really awesome thing he did twenty gazillion times before November. Starting now.

Wait, didn’t Obama get all pissed off when Hillary Clinton implied in a web ad that, if the phone rang at 3am, that he would totally sleep right through it? So it would be weird that he’d, in turn, imply that Mitt Romney would totally ignore the opportunity to get rid of one of history’s most notorious supervillians, who mass murdered 3,000 Americans? Yeah, I didn’t think so, either. What is weird is that Bill Clinton, who repeatedly refused to respond to bin Ladens attacks on US interests would, though.

But whatever. Barack Obama totally did one thing that people liked! And that’s awesome! Consider this election won.

Leave a Reply