So, by now, its no secret that I am one member of the team behind Hey Girl, It’s Paul Ryan. In fact, regular readers of this blog – all three of you – will know that some of the rudimentary meme pics were up here before a Tumblr ever existed. But that’s only the beginning of my tale.
Earlier this afternoon, after a little less than a week of notoriety, Hey Girl, It’s Paul Ryan received a special delivery. It seems a certain Dem leader, Ms. Former-Speaker-of-the-House Nancy Pelosi is a bit, shall we say, jealous, of the attention her co-Congressperson is getting. In response to the love and support being showered on Paul Ryan, she had her staff come up with their own Paul Ryan memes and then she shipped them to the DC press, and yours truly was on the recipient list.
You can see my adorable little Gmail person in the background, so you know its all me, but if you don’t believe me, you can always drop me a line and I’ll forward this little nugget to you. But if you’re in the DC media, you probably already have it and just don’t want to reveal this spectacular comedic failure.
Anywhoo, attached were 9 Hey Girl Its Paul Ryan “submissions” (numbered 2 – 10. One must have been REALLY awesome) and they were as amazing as you would expect. More, maybe.
#1 Old people scare tactic!
#2 Creepy Paul Ryan luring kids into his windowless van:
#3 Misleading statements on the nature of energy subsidies!
#4: RED LETTERING
#5: Your children are going to STARVE and DIE. Because, obviously.
#6: Donald Trump and a three year old catchphrase. CULTURAL RELEVANCE!
#7: Made in Microsoft Paint
#8: Quotation marks!
And finally, #9: Did you know the government is supposed to create jobs?
AREN’T THOSE FUNNY?! THOSE ARE FUNNY! SOOOO FUNNY!
I’m pretty sure the only way they could get better were if they used Comic Sans. America, your tax dollars paid Nancy’s staff to devote swaths of their time to this. And this is what you got in return.
And seriously. These are from Nancy Pelosi’s office. Direct. I wouldn’t lie to you. Because there’s no way I would lie about something this totally and incredibly incredible.