Actually, that should say “not just a vampire.” According to Team Obama, Mitt Romney is actually a time-traveling vampire robot from the future.
The Romney camp points out that the former Massachusetts governor left the firm in 1999, two years before the bankruptcy at GS Industries, and that he has taken responsibility for Bain’s purchase of the plant but not its management. Team Obama counters that Romney “set in motion” the series of structural changes that led to the 2001 closure of the company.
So, in case you missed that, Mitt Romney knew in 1999 that in 2001, a reorganization that took place in 1995 would result in the closure of a steel plant in Kansas that he did not manage, but had purchased sometime before 1995, at which point he knew he was going to run it into the ground, because that’s obviously what investment firms do. Intentionally, invest in things they know will fail, because they have an ability to predict the future of a company they already know won’t have a future.
This is complicated, but I’m pretty impressed with Mitt at this point. Robot, I had. Vampire, I was willing to accept, but even I couldn’t have predicted the time travel part. That’s pretty f***ing cool. Its like that Star Trek: TNG episode where the shape-shifting aliens from the future go back to San Francisco in the 1890s to kill humans during a cholera epidemic to change human evolution or open a time portal or whatever. Only he’s running for President.
