So it used to be that everyone hated hipsters, because that was just how it went. Well, like, almost everyone. The Obama campaign sort of loves them, as do the manufacturers of Pabst Blue Ribbon, Ray Ban sunglasses and fixed-gear bicycles. And liberals loved them. Because how could they not? Who else could you count on to ensure a continuing supply of organic cheese shops, awesome facial hair concepts and any number of innovations out of 1893.
For some reason, however, the tide is turning. Lately, reliable liberal sources have begun to turn on their hipster bretheren, accusing them of all manner of trespasses, including but not limited to abject racism. Because, apparently, Zooey Deschanel tweeting “#thuglife,” and a bunch of liberal arts majors in an IHOP implicates a return to pre-Civil Rights America and not a greater inequality of privilege, rights and power. Never mind that assuming “thug” relates directly to black people is following a stereotype right down a rabbit hole, but whatevs. The point is liberals thing hipsters are racist and they’re gonna do something about it.
And their starting with you, hipster food truck that serves Asian fusion.
The Fojol Bros food trucks are a staple in DC. They have three food trucks that claim to hail from imaginary lands such as Merlindia and are meant to evoke a circus like, carnival atmosphere of fun and laughter. They serve very popular fare that includes Thai, Indian and Ethiopian kinds of food.
Some Occupy DC members were so offended by what they saw as the “racist” caricature of the operation, they began a campaign against the Fojol Brothers, attacking them on Facebook, calling them “racist” on multiple photos. They started an online petition against the company. One of them, Drew Franklin, wrote an “Open Letter to the “Fojol” Bro-dawgs” which begain “Dear Idiots.”
Now hipsters love Asian fusion almost as much as they hate corporations, primarily because Asian fusion allows them to have a “diverse” food experience, while not actually venturing into any Asian restaurants, which might not serve vegan options or have clean bathrooms whose toilets can be used for lines of cocaine. Mixing Asian food with American food in an effort to be called “creative” might also make things “overpriced” and “overdone” but at least they help extend the hipster self-impression that they are exactly like Anthony Bourdain.
The letter suggested, in no uncertain terms that these “goombas” (which is actually an ethnic slur against Italians) drive their food truck that takes advantage of Western Orientalism (which is actually another slur against Asian Americans), straight into the Potomac (which may or may not be a threat). And that’s not including the notion that minorities need to be “protected” by other white people, or the use of the term “bro’ dawgs” which could be taken as a bastardization of an American dialect common to a minority, or the assumption that every hipster in the world is white, which is totally not true. Hipsters definitely have friends of other races. They would never propagate except for the existence of Asian-American females. And Fojol Brothers is actually run by a bunch of “white boys” who are actually not white and not boys.
And even their goddam sporks are organic.
But I guess the end result of this conflict is going to be hilarious, right? Progressives against hipsters? Communists against collectivists? Old school Marxists and dudes who listen to Richard Marx out of irony? I can only hope it all goes down at an 80s-themed pop-up party and that when it happens, there’s video.