Amanda Bynes is still in her infancy as being a drunken mess, and that’s fine. She’s still young, she still has skin that doesn’t look like its been run through a tire tread. There’s a long way to go, yet, to catch up to, say, Lindsay Lohan. But a few months ago, Amanda, who I remember from 90′s Nickelodeon as being kind of an annoying addition to an otherwise funny All That cast, allegedly dyed her hair purple, got wasted in an LA club, got behind the wheel of her BMW at 3am and sideswiped a cop in West Hollywood.
Yesterday, the state of California made the apparently ridiculous decision to charge Bynes with a misdemeanor for refusing to complete a Breathalyzer or drug test.
Now, typically, in these situations, a young Hollywood “starlet” (-ish?) would dress in dowdy vintage clothes and huge sunglasses, get a fresh dye job and a lip implant and beg a judge for forgiveness while assuring the world that, despite what they’ve heard about her hanging around hipster photographers and doing cocaine off hookers’ asses in warehouse clubs, she’s totally in the running for this biopic they’re making and its just super stressful. But not Amanda Bynes. Nope. She was raised with the generation that knows what their government is able to do and is willing to ask.
I’m sure he’ll get right on that, hon.