In which we are forced to report that our President made a blowjob joke.

A commenter at Politico begged them to “please delete this story and apologize to America.”

If only we could, my friend. If only we could.

“Michelle outdoes me in pushups as well,” he said, after saying that she’s taken some criticism on her technique “because she doesn’t go all the way down” – a line that he let hang, naughtily, provoking laughter from the crowd.

Look, I don’t give a sh*t about what you do in private, but I would appreciate it if you only spoke about it in public if you are attractive enough for me to picture you doing it without getting a sick, sinking feeling in my stomach. Do I expect the President to be a saint? No. Do I expect him to keep his unattractive bedroom antics to himself? Yes.

This economy is bad. I can only afford to vomit up so much food.