Back in 2011, the 700 Club President Pat Robertson, best known for his “controversial” (read: batsh*t crazy) assumptions about various world locales and their inhabitants’ relationships to the apocalyptic natural disasters that befall them, made news when he asked a question that all enquiring minds, everywhere, had wanted to know for years: What is “Mac and Cheese”… and is it a “black thing?”
Because, apparently,the only people who enjoy pasta covered in processed cheese food were minorities or something and not, like, 90% of the American public. And also because he’s Pat Robertson.
The ultra-right-wing Christian host couldn’t believe what he had heard when his relatively new co-anchor Kristi Watts asked former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, “What’s that one thing at Thanksgiving you just have to have?”
Shortly after Secretary Rice answered “Mac and Cheese,” the camera cut to an astonished Robertson, who then responded, “What is this Mac and Cheese, is that a black thing?”
Once Robertson unscrupulously gave away the all-American side dish to black people, Watts excitedly picked up the gooey dish, exclaiming, “It is a black thing, Pat!”
Fast-forward to summer 2012, and a little-noticed article on AdAge seems to have revealed that the left-leaning “good government” group Common Cause, best known for its poorly-sourced and unrealistic yet well-coordinated attacks on that dastardly, secret, vampire-ish limited-government organization of state legislators known as ALEC, has been secretly taken over by Pat Robertson, or someone who sounds an awful lot like him, going by the name of “Mr. Clopp.”
Mr. Clopp said the links between ALEC and the stand-your-ground, anti-immigrant and voter identification legislation introduced in state legislatures worried corporations that market their products to minorities.
“Kraft knows who buys lots of mac and cheese,” Mr. Clopp said.
Uhhhh…huh. And who, pray tell, buys mac and cheese, Mr. Clopp? I suspect the consumers you referring to aren’t ALEC-supporting, Italian-American libertarians such as myself for whom processed cheese foods are such a staple they make up an entire quarter of my government-mandated food “plate chart.” Or the millions of people (American AND Canadian) who make Kraft Dinner one of the nation’s best selling products.
In case you’re having trouble getting Mr. Clopp’s drift, let me rephrase his argument for you: “Hey guys, you know who eats a lot of mac and cheese? AFRICAN-AMERICANS! And hey, Trayvon Martin was African-American and so even though ALEC is and always has been an organization focused on limited government, free markets and federalism (that’s actually ALEC’s motto) and wasn’t actually involved at all in the drafting or passing of Florida’s Stand Your Ground law, it totally makes sense to try to take down ALEC by invoking racially-focused attacks because hey Kraft was a member and like Pat Robertson conjectured, mac and cheese is totally a black thing! Ha, ha, ha! OMG, I’m so f***ing clever I impress even myself.”
Just remember, America. If you oppose certain agenda items of the current administration, you’re totally racist. BUT, if you make outdated assumptions about minorities and their eating habits based on angry stereotypes perpetuated by actual racists in order to further the cause of the American left, you’re a goddam genius. Because, obviously.