So there’s this Japanese supermarket by where I live that has a food court. And in this food court is a chain hamburger restaurant from Japan that sells ridiculously adorable burgers that they craft to look adorable and, stamp with the name of the restaurant and serve them with wasabi fries. Its out of control. And you order these burgers via a touch screen system that is mostly in Japanese, and which, despite the language barrier, is about 10,000 times more accurate than a human (which I say with love, but also with the knowledge that I once ordered a hamburger at McDonalds that came without the actual hamburger on it).
Apparently, there’s a grocery store called Wawa somewhere in the US where you can get hoagie sandwiches exactly this way. And Mitt Romney was amazed by it or something. And according to Andrea Mitchell of MSNBC, this means he is totally out of touch with the regular America that orders all of its submarine sandwiches with robots or something.
If that video looks a little weird to you, it’s because it is weird. Not because Mitt Romney is over-excited about a computer giving him a sandwich, and not because this is, as Andrea Mitchell terms it, a repeat of a 1992 incident wherein a New York Times reporter, in characteristic Times fashion, wrote about George H. W. Bush not knowing how to use a grocery scanner because he was out of touch with the regular America that scanned their groceries. After all, anyone who has ever been in line to use the self-scanner machine knows that regular Americans are as utterly bewildered by the Satanic dark magic that is touch-screen technology as either of these candidates. Hell is a U-Scan line at a Wal-Mart.
So, actually, Mitt wasn’t wide-eyed in amazement at something regular people do all the time. He was trying to point out that, at Wawa, you can order a goddam sandwich with your finger and ten seconds later it pops out the exact sandwich you ordered whereas the Federal government has you fill out a 33-page form to change your address for the purpose of paying them and they still f*** it up. You can read his whole speech here, but obviously not at MSNBC.com, because journalistic standards are not entirely within their wheelhouse.
The bigger story here is, obviously that the video was selectively edited, and that Andrea Mitchell was caught orgasm-ing over the possibility that Mitt Romney had just shown himself the door. She’ll be “addressing” the “incident” on her program today, but I think it’s safe to assume that when Dan Rather called his own false story “fake but accurate” he set the standard for contrived media apologies. But it’s probably enough to know she spent the morning crying into her Cheerios and wailing on the phone with Joy Behar over the unfairness of it all.