Barack Obama has had a bit of a fundraising problem of late, what with all the “making money makes you a fascist” talk, and the Wall Street back hand cash grab, and so has turned to his most reliable source of income: people in Hollywood whose grasp of political reality has as little to do with actual reality as the plastic they stuff into their faces to preserve their fading youth.
The problem here is, obviously, that movie stars only have money as long as they are making movies. Not even Angeline Jolie can long afford to be a personal United Nations without acquiescing to a “job” once in a great while. Unfortunately, while being a bitter gun-clinging religious lunatic is not the aspiration of a worldly star, people who watch Fox News while beating their bibles happen to make up a large movie-going demographic. Which appears to have lead to the first self-actualizing realization Hollywood has had in years:
If people hate Barack Obama and we give him money, will they hate us, too?
Some of the president’s most ardent entertainment industry supporters quietly tell The Hollywood Reporter that while they realize he needs to deploy all of his weapons to compete with deep-pocketed Republican super PACs, they fear the increasing reliance on stars and celebrity contests could backfire with swing voters and mobilize the right…Critics say the tony, heavily promoted eventĀ — Parker sent an e-mail to supporters promising the evening would be “fabulous,” and Wintour posted a video online urging supporters to enter a lottery for two tickets — risked creating the impression of an elitist, out-of-touch candidate in a period of ongoing distress and growing economic inequality.
“It’s a mistake,” a veteran Hollywood exec says flatly of the event, which the Drudge Report headlined “Checks in the City.” The exec adds: “He’s supposed to be a man of the people, and he’s hanging out with Anna Wintour? Is he trying to turn the election into a celebrity reality show?”
The good news for Hollywood, so far, is that the only people who have thrown or attended fundraisers, with the notable exception of George Clooney and then only because he’s a goddam silver fox, have been people America already hates, notably Sarah Jessica Parker, Mariah Carey and Meryl Streep. Sure, LA loves them and Meryl can’t go to the bathroom without sh*tting out some acting award as a result, but truth be told, she only got that Oscar because America’s public school system has degraded our history education so far that most viewers thought Margaret Thatcher was a character in a Monty Python sketch.
Hollywood, for it’s part, resents that Obama didn’t pay closer attention to the more subtle themes of the indie work their studio financed, and turned back to the beautiful people only when he needed some checks signed. Obviously, the reason for this is that the firm grasp of foreign policy we can trust someone like the head of programming for Bravo to possess can’t be tapped without a long-term contract. But they seem to think Obama wants them only for their cash.
In a way, I almost feel sorry for them. It’s like a Sweet Valley High novel, where the nerdy kid who just got walked into the popular group figures out that it’s his test answers and not a Bill Gates fetish that gets him a prom date. Sadface.

