Democrats: you guys know Romney totally has a horse, right?

If you didn’t get the unicorn that you were promised in 2008, remember it’s totally this dude’s fault. And he has your horse.

And it dances, m*****f*****. It’s a goddam dancing horse.

The Bronies are going to be pissed. I wonder if there’ll be a panel on this at BronyCon.

We’re only halfway through July and we’re already at the bottom of the barrel, people. Obviously, Democrats want more of Romney’s tax returns because they’d like to parade his deductions (such as the $77K horse) as evidence that he’s “out of touch” with the American people. I mean, you don’t have a car elevator, right? You don’t have $2,000 sundresses and a multi-million-dollar Martha’s Vineyard estate rental vacation, either, but the Obama’s are men of the people. Or people of the people. Or whatever. At any rate, they’re compassionate and totally understand what you’re going through because while Mitt Romney is fully committed to helping create job growth, the Obamas are compassionate enough to take money from rich people by force and give it to bloated, ineffective government programs whose PR departments tell them to claim they’re helping you. Romney isn’t interested in giving them the tax returns because that would pretty much mean handing them opposition research.

The major problem here is, unfortunately, that Romney, for all he is and isn’t, is an open book, and a pretty boring book at that. While Obama was getting high on pot on the shores of Oahu and writing bad poetry, Romney was going doing what all legacy rich people do when forced out into the great beyond: getting married, raising a family and becoming the principle investor and manager of a multi-million-dollar corporation that gave money to other multi-million-dollar corporations. All they’ve got right now is an unfortunate story of a dog sh*tting all over the family car and a decade of private tax returns. No Miller Lite benders. No text messages to underage campaign staffers.

Just horses.

Pretty, pretty horses.

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  1. CGHill

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