A few weeks ago, a bunch of conservative groups went apesh*t because Oreo celebrated Pride Weekend (known around here as “Gay Christmas”) with an Oreo cookie that had rainbow colored filling. Now, Oreo didn’t actuallyproduce this “gay cookie” or anything like that. They just Photoshopped the filling of their model cookie to look like it had rainbow filling. Actually, maybe they didn’t even use Photoshop because it actually looks like the filling was just cut and pasted.
At any rate, apparently, there was a nationwide boycott of Oreo cookies that liberals mocked relentlessly, at least until they discovered that Chick-fil-a, a chicken sandwich chain that stays closed on Sundays so its employees can worship, features Bible verses on its walls and makes no secret of it’s heavily evangelical Christian roots, wasshockingly supportive of traditional marriage as defined by its Christian beliefs. I know. I’m floored. I never would have guessed in a million years.
Now, apparently, tasty chicken sandwiches are a threat to the very fabric of our nation and need to be eradicated. And if you aren’t outrageously outraged about said tasty chicken sandwiches, well then you just aren’t paying attention. Whatever. It’s their prerogative to be crazy and waste their time on ineffective urban boycotts of largely Southern chains.
The funny thing is, the forces behind this boycott are strangely selective when it comes to withholding their economic support of major retail and fast food chains. Obviously, the Hobby Lobby, Franklin Covey and a number of other religious chains hold the same beliefs, though they’re not stupid enough to market themselves using them, but the Mothership of Hipsterdom, Urban Outfitters, happens to not only support conservative candidates, but puts serious cash behind candidates and organizations that work to implement conservative ideas into public policy. In fact, they even support that evil archenemy of reason and liberalism, Rick Santorum.
Miley Cyrus discovered this cold hard fact late last year.
The teen pop sensation took to Twitter to ding Rick Santorum in a roundabout way Thursday.
Cyrus isn’t a fan of Urban Outfitters after stories emerged alleging that the store has copied jewelry designs, so she pointed out that the company’s president had contributed to Santorum
“IF WE ALLOW GAY MARRIAGE NEXT THING U KNOW PEOPLE WILL BE MARRYING GOLD FISH’ — Rick Santorum UO contributed $13,000 to this mans campaign” tweeted Cyrus, mocking Santorum for some earlier remarks regarding gay marriage.
She also wrote about Urban Outfitters and Santorum: “Not only do they steal from artists but every time you give them money you help finance a campaign against gay equality.”
That said, Miley and millions of others like her seem to, right now, be conveniently ignoring that not only does Urban Outfitters (the “UO” she referenced in her tweet) gratuitously rip off the intellectual property of trust fund hipster artists in any number of collectivists Brooklyn units, but it’s parent company and CEO also give copiously to conservative causes including a few recent donations to the Romney campaign. Meaning, of course, that hipsters and wannabe hipsters in every suburban ‘burg and college town in the country have been purchasing their Obama paraphernalia at a store that directly supports pretty much everything they claim to stand against, including traditional marriage, thus truly participating in the irony they only claim to understand, and very visibly “boycott” when the media wave crosses into their interests.
Yep, you read that correctly. Millions of art and English majors America over have been frittering away their parents trust funds on fancy sketchbooks, floral Hammer pants, novelty wall art, cannabis cookbooks, vinyl records and associated headgear, Bob Dylan tee shirts and retro plastic eyeglasses, and all the while they’ve been actively contributing to the social conservative wing of the Republican party.
It’s almost too delicious to bear. I can just see the modernistic poetry being written now. Jotted down on tear-stained parchment nestled inside an acid-green, vegan leather Moleskine, and the issue discussed at length over glasses of Trader Joe’s Merlot at pop-up restaurants serving $20 tacos inside the skeletal remains of an abandoned warehouse. Mustaches will quiver. Fixies will fall over in agony at the thought of how the cost of their tiny bell went to support a man who is still pretty sure Intelligent Design is a reasonable replacement for evolutionary theory in American science classrooms. I see a number of Zazzle bumper-stickers in their future.