Mitt Romney is now totally murdering old people or something.

• Tweet
• Email

• Tweet
• Email

Debbie Wasserman Schultz is lucky enough to be an elected official from Florida, which means that she can run a single-issue campaign. She doesn’t need to discuss the measured intricacies of foreign policy or have any deep thoughts on the economic realities that Americans face. She only needs to know one thing: how to scare the ever loving sh*t out of old people.

And she’s really f***ing good at it. At least, she must be, considering that despite having the apparent intellectual capacity of a banana slug, she manages to get elected over and over again. And, since she’s nearing the end of her tenure at the DNC, there’s really no reason for her to pull punches or, really, make very much sense anymore. You can tell because the old people-terrifying is creeping into her tactics on the Presidential election.

“Release your tax returns” thing hasn’t worked, primarily because Debbie herself hasn’t released her tax returns, so behold the new line of attack: Mitt Romney is totally going to force seniors to live on the streets, or worse, with their children.

Mitt Romney will force seniors out of nursing homes and “out into the cold” if he’s elected president, the head of the Democratic National Committee warned voters in Portsmouth Friday.

Florida Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz toured the Granite State Friday to draw attention to how the 2012 presidential race will influence the Medicare and Medicaid programs. Monday marks the 47th anniversary of the establishment of Medicare, according to President Barack Obama’s re-election campaign.

In a short speech at Obama’s campaign office at 125 Brewery Lane, Wasserman Schultz warned supporters that Romney “and his Tea Party extremist allies” are planning to strip seniors of safety net benefits provided through the Medicare program.

Schultz said Romney endorses the GOP budget crafted by Congressman Paul Ryan, which would “end Medicare as we know it” by converting the program into a voucher system. The change would cost the average senior an extra $6,300 in annual Medicare premiums, she claimed.

Hilariously, Schultz left out the part where Obamacare guts Medicare by 2% per year, primarily affecting seniors. Well, actually, totally affecting seniors. Because it’s Medicare. And that’s the brainchild of Democrats. Because, you see, if you have so many younger people entering the system, the money to cover them has to come from somewhere. And naturally, that “somewhere” is “the people who die sooner.”And that doesn’t even begin to address the massive structural deficit that faces Medicare that Debbie’s spokeperson “had no answer for.”

Whoops.

Of course, that’s not how Paul Ryan’s system works, but whatever. Facts don’t matter here. According to Debbie, Obama has also grown the economy consistently over the last four years and everything is sparkly and shiny and we’re all happy except the ones who aren’t happy and then it’s clearly because we’re racist. And MITT ROMNEY IS GOING TO KILL OLD PEOPLE. Get it. He’s going to murder your grandparents. He’s going to kick them out into the street where they will have to sell and/or light matches for warmth and knit afghans out of their own hair and whatever they can pull off their cats.

You’ve been warned, America.