Tom Harkin says you need birth control pills because you PMS like a bitch.

We’ve already been over the free birth control thing several times. But starting today, if you can’t afford the $9 a month to get your generic birth control pills at Target because you have no concept of consumer finance and still pay $1000 a year for condoms or whatever, you can have it for free if your employer is hooked on to a plan or is willing to let the government to force them to forgo the precepts of their religion entirely in violation of the First Amendment.

But let’s be clear here. No woman really and truly needs free birth control, because women already have free birth control. It’s called not having sex with men who you don’t want to have a child with. Or headaches. I’m married. Trust me. I know. At any rate, that isn’t a good enough excuse for people who desperately need the votes of uninformed yet easily-swayed American single women, so, America, you’re getting free birth control whether you want it or not.

Because, if you’re being honest with yourself, apparently, you really need it.

Because according to Democratic Senator Tom Harkin, it’ll stop your goddam bitching.

Sen. Tom Harkin (D-Iowa) today justified what the Catholic bishops of the United States have unanimously called an “unjust and illegal mandate” that forces Catholic business owners to provide coverage for free sterilizations, contraceptives and abortion-inducing drugs because, Harkin said, some women need birth control pills to deal with menstrual pain.

“There are many women who take birth control pills, for example, because they have terrible menstrual cramps once a month, some of them almost incapacitated, can’t work,” said Harkin. “I know of young women myself who, because of this, aren’t able to work and be productive, and it’s prescribed by their doctor.”,

The funny thing here, besides the overt sexism, is that Catholic schools and universities were happy even before now to cover medication of the birth control nature that was being used for a legitimate medical reason that had nothing to do with not making babies. If you have endometriosis, or any other perfectly normal yet totally obnoxious ailment of the womb-type-area, a doctors prescription showing it was all you needed to have that covered under your current insurance plan, Catholic employer or not. But whatever. Like I said, important votes are at risk here. Facts aren’t important. What’s important is that we are now officially paying for the single most important thing in a woman’s life.

Or something.

What is alsoimportant, is that Tom Harkin is a Democrat, so no one gives a sh*t whether he gives a speech accusing women of needing birth control to keep them from PMSing like crazy bitches. Because heaven knows, a woman who has cramps is a threat to the very fabric of civilized society, such that it clearly falls under both the Necessary and Proper Clause and Congress’ vested interest in promoting the general welfare as prescribed in the preamble to the United States Constitution.

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