Last night, while you were heating your Spaghetti-Os on your camp stove in the hobo hovel you’ve lived in since being laid off from your job four years ago, Barack Obama was fundraising at a $40,000-per-plate event at the NYC club 40/40 (40/40 referring to a baseball accomplishment in which a player earns 40 home runs and steals 40 bases in a single season), owned by rap- and fashion-mogul (and multimillionaire) Jay-Z and his wife Beyonce. Or as Obama likes to refer to them, “Jay and Bey.”
Now, since you weren’t invited to Jay and Bey’s swanky party, and likely don’t call them Jay and Bey without people assuming you have some sort of issue that requires professional help, let’s just say details of the soiree, including Beyonce’s insane hairstyle and white formal shorts, are very available. As are photos. Like this one. Of the club’s centerpiece, a wall of Armand de Brignac Brut Gold bottles (known as “Ace of Spades” for those who have difficulty with literacy, as it has a giant ace of spades on the front of the bottle), imported from Chigny Les Roses in Champagne-Ardennes, and said, to cost, in total, around $105,000.
That is a lot of Spaghetti-Os right there.
Now, technically, most people are pricing this wall with the $300-per-bottle price tag in mind, but see, that’s what a plebeian would pay at a liquor store. Granted, it would be a liquor store with a glass case, in a very nice neighborhood, but that’s still the price for suckers who have to purchase alcohol themselves. At 40/40 you can indulge in 11 dollar nachos, a King Crab slider and a $24 grilled chicken breast, and bottle service, which is either how you show how rich you are, or how you compensate for being so ugly, they won’t let you into a sports bar. With bottle service, you can “reserve” a table by paying approximately two-to-three times the regular cost of a bottle of alcohol, which they will then serve to you in a number of artistic ways, depending on how much cash you have on hand. One club in Vegas lets topless girls on a zipline deliver bottle service to people with thousands to blow.
But I digress.
At 40/40 bottle service with a bottle of Ace of Spades (the gold, not the rose) will run you about $500. To order the entire wall of Ace of Spades at 40/40, let’s just say most people would have to take out a second mortgage on their foreclosed house.
But it’s cool. We understand. Barack Obama is President of all of us, and that includes the people who buy golden bottles of champagne on Tuesday nights. Especially when they’re writing $40,000 checks.