Mitt Romney forgets to lay off self-tanner because of racism.

Both candidates have taken their turn on Spanish-language television now, but you only really heard about one because the other one didn’t forget he was running for President and causally mention that America might be better off if they left their expectations for him at the door.

Thank goodness for the news media, though, who can’t let something like that eek into the consciousness of the American public! As Barack Obama prepared to cede that his 2008 marketing strategy was without any foundation in reality, many were focused on a more important issue key to the decisions of millions of voters in swing states: whether Mitt Romney’s bronzer was deliberately racist.

Mitt Romney appeared on Univision Wednesday alongside Jorge Ramos and Maria Elena Salinas, but something was a little peculiar about his appearance — his skin tone. Looking back at the hundreds of photos logging his every moment on the campaign trail, the Republican presidential nominee is usually not so shockingly tan.

While his orangey-brown appearance on Univision could have been the result of bad lighting or a makeup mishap, left-wing blog the Democratic Underground concluded that Romney “dyed his face brown for his Univision interview.”

Mark this as the only time that the Democratic Underground, which is a message board for people with progressive values and a questionable grasp of technology, has been relevant in the last decade. As Huffington Post points out, it’s plausible because this one time Mitt Romney said that it would be easier to appeal to Mexicans if he were actually Mexican and the moon is in a waning phase and the unemployment records of swing states are due to hit today.

Huffington Post also provides a helpful timeline of Mitt Romney’s skin tone, pointing out that sometime between September 16 and September 19 he got a tan. Thankfully, they recognize the rigor of the campaign schedule, noting that it would be impossible for him to lay out so he must have altered his skin tone. By which they clearly mean “got spray tanned and made up for a television appearance.” Shocking, I know.

Now, I’m not defending Mitt Romney’s ridiculous tanning job by any stretch. Homeslice appears to have foregone the traditional campaign-trail “John Boehner” all over job in favor of the “Brian Williams Fried Raccoon” approach, and appears to be suffering for it. The problem also appears to be in the application of bronzer, possibly by the television station itself, which took his early morning September 19 tan and turned it into a walking American Cancer Society warning label. On the plus side, it may pick him up votes in New Jersey, where he’s still 7 points behind.

Comments
  1. Warden1103

Leave a Reply