So back in June, people were trying to convince me to join a campaign, like I was going to trade my cushy lifestyle, wherein I work in pajamas until well after it’s socially acceptable and move to a new town and subsist on Diet Coke and Cheet-os for six months while I earned my place as an administrative assistant in the West Wing. As much as I love Diet Coke and Cheet-os, it was a no sale.
But see, all this happened before I found out that, when you work for a campaign, you get invited to really awesome parties with people who have enough money to also have questionable morality. And, when you finally do earn your spot in the White House staff, you get to do awesome things like go to foreign countries and have sex parties with Secret Service agents and Columbian hookers.
While much of the attention in the case has focused on the actions of Secret Service personnel, multiple law enforcement and congressional sources tell FoxNews.com that investigators also discovered two White House advance team members checked in prostitutes as overnight guests at a Cartagena hotel in the days before President Obama’s April 13 visit.
“Three U.S. delegation members that stayed at the Hilton brought prostitutes back as overnight guests. One of them was ours (Secret Service) and the other two were White House staffers,” a high-ranking Secret Service official told FoxNews.com. “We knew very early that White House staffers were involved.”
This is unfortunate. After all that hard work disciplining the Secret Service and coordinating covert videos of Mitt Romney saying things at fundraisers that force the sky to come crashing down on his campaign, pulling it completely even with the Obama campaign in the polls, the Columbian Hooker Scandal has to rear it’s ugly double-Ds just when China, the Middle East and parts of Africa are melting into a giant hairy ball of foreign policy failure.
Thankfully, however, at least the campaign has now drafted Bill Clinton into its ranks, so if anyone needs an expert on dalliances, there’s one at hand.