This is your warning, vaginas of America. If you don’t cast your ballot for Barack Obama in November, heaven only knows what’s going to happen to you. The results could be devastating. Mitt Romney is going to personally sneak into your home and night and STEAL ALL THE LADYPARTS.
This is for reals, people. Though, now it’s gone because legally, campaigns can’t tell vaginas to just vote. Vaginas need ID first and technically vaginas can’t get ID unless they’re willing to be photographed. So your number of voting vaginas is actually pretty limited.
I’m pretty much over this. For one thing, we f***ing pay Planned Parenthood millions to supply American women with low cost birth control, but apparently, it’s no big deal to the people who trumpet PPOA’s un-besmirch-able, saintly mission that PPOA spends millions of dollars – that could go supply Sandra Fluke’s friends with Orthotricyclin for lifetimes – on political ads in swing states. And even if, somehow, Mitt Romney were to poison every libertal member of the Supreme Court and stack it with Todd Akin, the worst case scenario seems to not involve chastity belts, vagina stealing, or anything remotely resembling a ban on contraception. Sure, people who object to being forced by the government to provide contraception free of charge to their employees in violation of their First Amendment right to Free Exercise might continue being allowed not to like they currently are, but I fail to see the imminent danger to my ladyparts if someone with an R after their name happens to get elected.
And lets face it. If my vagina’s voting. It’s voting for Paul Ryan.
And I’m not the only one.
[via Yid With Lid, Alexa Shrugged]