Gen. Petraeus is actually a total stud or something. UPDATED


So…this is awkward. Apparently Gen. David Petraeus, current head of the CIA, has submitted his resignation to the White House over an alleged extra-marital affair with a staffer, thus rendering him unfit to work at a government agency in DC.

Mark this as like, the first time ever someone’s thought that.

Central Intelligence Agency Director David Petraeus has resigned, citing an extra-marital affair, NBC News reported.

“Yesterday afternoon, I went to the White House and asked the President to be allowed, for personal reasons, to resign from my position,” Petraeus said in his resignation letter. “After being married for over 37 years, I showed extremely poor judgment by engaging in an extramarital affair. Such behavior is unacceptable, both as a husband and as the leader of an organization such as ours.”

“This afternoon, the President graciously accepted my resignation,” Petraeus said in the letter.

Meh. J. Edgar Hoover probably danced around his office in womens’ panties, and he still managed to keep a check on the Russians. Now, Petraeus seems like a straight-up enough kind of guy, and this is honorable especially for someone whose chose a career in public office, but let me put it this way – if I could have guessed why the head of the CIA would have submitted his resignation at 3:00pm on a  Friday afternoon following a heavy news week, I probably would not have put my odds on “banged a chick.” I mean, he’s the CIA director. It’s not like he’s going to be blackmailed about it. He could just blow up your house with a drone. They do that now.

For the interim, he’ll be replaced by Deputy CIA director Mike Morell, who handled George W. Bush’s intelligence briefings and collections on September 11.

More to come, I suppose.

UPDATE: Apparently, someone is into high cheekbones.

Man, you definitely can’t count on the powerful men to go for the smart ones.

UPDATE: Petraeus was set to testify next week to the House Committee investigating Benghazi. This is like a magnet for conspiracy theories, but none of them involving blackmail seem to make sense. The White House wouldn’t have been able to force Petraeus’ hand, since he could have resigned at any time without a clear reason, and succumbing to White House pressure would have led to resignation anyway. He could have just beat the Administration to the punch on throwing him under the bus.

UPDATE: Sources say Petraeus will not be testifying. Now THAT’S convenient.

UPDATE: Early reports of the affair seem to be mistaken. The woman he was involved with is not an Elizabeth Warren staffer, but his biographer, Paula Broadwell.  The title of the book?


UPDATE: The affair seems to have taken place sometime last year, when Petraeus had been married 37 years. He’s now been married a little over 38. And there are a few indicators that the sudden urgency in Petraeus’ resignation might have had something to with material Broadwell accessed inappropriately during the affair.


UPDATE: The lucky lady.

She appears to also be BeBe Neuwirth.

  1. Earthlings on Mars
  2. Bill

Leave a Reply