The golden age of spy sex had one advantage for spies besides sex. When James Bond was running around banging women with names like Bambi, he never had to worry about booting up his computer and reporting back to headquarters using the same email address that he used to keep the women straight in his black book.
Unfortunately for David Petraeus, times have changed. Now, when you make the mistake of dipping your toe – or other parts – straight into the crazy, you have to watch your back. After all, bitches be crazy. And crazy bitches call your other bitches. And then you can’t be head of the CIA anymore.
Mrs Kelley told agents that Paula Broadwell, the 40-year-old biographer who has been identified as the ex-CIA boss’ mistress, sent her harassing emails telling her to ‘back off’ Petraeus.
An online picture album posted by the family talks about meeting Gen Petraeus at the family’s home.
‘We and our family have been friends with Gen Petraeus and his family for over five years. We respect his and his family’s privacy and want the same for us and our three children,’ she said in statement on Sunday…
A government official told the New York Post that the emails contained such language as: ‘I know what you did,’ ‘back off’ and ‘stay away from my guy.’
The official added: ‘(Broadwell) clearly thought something was going on’ and thought she was in a ‘lovers triangle.’
Apparently, Mrs. Kelly was a frequent dinner guest and social acquaintance of Petraeus, but their relationship didn’t go any farther than some DC mixers and a couple of casual encounters. Paula, on the other hand, was pretty sure her secret boyfriend was secret boyfriends with other chicks, because obviously, if you’re banging one, you’re banging them all.
In DC, that’s probably true, but most people are cool with it. Paula wasn’t. And Paula somehow had access to Petraeus’ official work email, which is weird, considering that he was the director of the CIA. And you would think that the director of the major intelligence agency of the world’s most powerful military nation would have a hard email password to crack, but apparently, you’d be wrong.
In a way this has to be good news. Crazy bitches are more motivated than most, and apparently an excellent way to find mostly unintentional major breaches in American security. At least Petraeus had the foresight to poke around in the American pool and not take on someone with more sinister intentions than whacking any other potential suitors. I’d hate to see what would happen if he’d met that super hot Russian spy chick.
UPDATE: Apparently, Ms. Broadwell also had some interesting ideas about what was going on in Benghazi. As she once hacked the email of the head of the CIA to threaten and harass some chick she’d seen him chatting up at a party, I don’t know how much veracity we can give to her claims. But you never know, I guess. I mean, setting her up would make for a much better Lifetime movie.
So true, there will be Lifetime movies to come.
Rob Lowe looks somewhat enough like Petraeus in the face nowadays, that he could be cast in the part. They could get Lindsay Lohan to play the author-girlfriend—it would require a real stretch of method acting on her part to satisfy the role—any doubters out there !?
As a play on words regarding stupidity among the CIA brass, the script could be entitled, “Get Smart.”
Oops, that title has already been taken.
Ok, how about, “Get Laid.”
I’ll check with the Writer’s Guild on that one.
Bitches by crazy and men be stupid. Wow! That Petraeus had an affair certainly shows very poor judgement but that he picked this incredibly indiscreet and mouthy whackadoodle makes me wonder if he has some undisclosed brain injury.
I was reading this too quickly on my way to class and mistakenly thought you wrote “breeches” instead of “breaches” in that next-to-last paragraph.
Turns out the sentence works well with either spelling. Well done.
She doesn’t need to hack his password. All she’s gotta do is check out his laptop while he’s in the shower. He’s important enough that if he tells his IT folks he doesn’t want his screensaver password lock to kick in, they will accommodate him.