Morning Report: The love triangle

After some thought, it’s become clear that the GOP intends on presuming that this is the end of the world, that the sky is falling and that zombies will soon come shuffling over the horizon to eat us all. While I don’t disagree, the bottom line is this: while a more libertarian direction would be nice, and somebody seriously needs to address the branding problems, what the GOP really needs is to draw a real difference between them and the Dems.

Republicans, you can’t just be a paler, straighter Democratic Party.

That said, a darker, gayer Republican party would be awesome. Some RuPaul drag race lessons at least.

1. The State Department couldn’t find an embassy guard that knew how to shoot something other than a cap gun, but they could find a sex scandal in Washington.

2. Petraeus’ girlfriend had some interesting ideas about what the CIA was doing in Benghazi.

3. Philadelphia seems to have missed the memo that more than one dude was running for President.

4. Barack Obama spent his first post-election weekend playing golf, and making it possible for lots of other people to play golf, too.

5. America, “okay, now that this whole re-election thing is done, hows about dropping that whole Palestinian state thing.” Palestinians: “No.”

Good luck, America. It’s only Monday.

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