Haven’t seen Barack Obama in a week. That must have been some trip to Asia.
1. Did you think that Darrel Issa was heading up the Senate Intelligence Committee investigation into Benghazi? Because as it turns out, it’s not Darrel at all. It’s Diane Feinstein. And you will provide her with testimony on why Petraeus took a trip to Libya after the bombing and you will call her ma’am.
2. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who is shockingly still allowed to speak following the campaign despite repeatedly accusing Republicans of trying to bring back Jim Crow laws, and insinuating that they’d be willing to discuss the legality of rape in detail, has decided that female politicians are better because they don’t get bogged down in the petty stuff.
3. The Congressional Budget Office has determined that raising the tax rate on the rich to Clinton-era levels will have a huge impact on the federal deficit. No, just kidding. The impact would be literally nothing. Which is tough because it appears that wealth redistribution now accounts for approximately 20% of the US economy.
4. The President has made ushering in a new era of bipartisan cooperation a top priority in his administration. Or at least he will. Right after he gets finished taking strategy meetings on the fiscal cliff from union leaders and progressive activists. Also, Hillary Clinton will totally testify for your committee investigating Benghazi. Right after she’s done tasting this Australian wine.
5. Michael Steele has a recipe for Republican recovery. And that recipe is more Michael Steele.
Good luck, America. It’s only Tuesday.