Behold, naked FBI guy. Though not currently naked. Also, probably.

So it looks like the New York Times might have unearthed the FBI agent who sent shirtless photos of himself to Jill Kelley as part of his “investigation” into an email love triangle-slash-evil twin scenario, and various other breaches of American security, though those are not necessarily as important as who the head of the CIA was banging.

The New York Times guesses it’s a guy named, of all things, Frederick Humphries II (not Junior), who is the senior FBI agent who took the initial report from Kelley and launched the subsequent cyber-stalking investigation that eventually led to Petraeus’s downfall. In typical New York Times fashion, though, this identification appears to be based on little except the fact that it’s totally what the New York Times thinks happened, so take it with a grain of salt.

“Fred is a passionate kind of guy,” said one former colleague. “He’s kind of an obsessive type. If he locked his teeth onto something, he’d be a bulldog.”

That description would appear to fit his involvement in the current investigation.

Frederick Humphries the Second does, shockingly, admit that he sent a shirtless photo to Jill Kelley, but, you see, it was totally nothing. Just a shirtless photo between friends. Because friends do that.

Mr. Berger took issue with news media reports that have said his client sent shirtless pictures of himself to Ms. Kelley.

“That picture was sent years before Ms. Kelley contacted him about this, and it was sent as part of a larger context of what I would call social relations in which the families would exchange numerous photos of each other,” Mr. Berger said.

This isn’t the first time Humphries has made headlines. According to the Seattle Times, from whence comes that terrifying photo (I guess you’ll just have to picture him shirtless), Humphries busted up the “Millennium” terrorist plot when he was able to question a suspect arrested on a ferry from Canada with bags of white powder. Humphries spoke French and recognized Quebecois, which led him to believe the man wasn’t from Montreal as his passport and birth certificate noted, but rather from Algeria. It turns out the suspect was a known terrorist who was plotting to blow up LAX on New Years Eve.

So yes, the man who sent his shirtless photo to one of the Kardashian sisters is basically Jack Bauer. Or sort of. Because, obviously.

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