Jesse Jackson Jr. may not be long for the House of Representatives, his future now dependent only on the willingness of Congress to pay him not to do work that he’s already not doing. And given that we’re dealing with Congress, the chances are probably pretty high that decision will be made quickly and in Jesse Jackson Jr.’s favor, so that he can go back to buying Rolexes for Ukranian mistresses and being in jail and whatever else he does.
This, of course, means that his Congressional seat will be open, because, like any good Democrat, Jesse Jackson Jr., who has been under threat of indictment for months and missing for weeks, won his seat handily in the last election. Chicago has already heard from one potential candidate – the lawyer who defended Rod Blagojevich, our illustrious former governor – but a possibly sketchy defense attorney, while a good try, just isn’t quite the kind of oncoming political train the South Side typically looks for.
But not to fear. There’s another viable candidate with his eye on the prize.
Former U.S. Rep. Mel Reynolds is popping up on the radar screen again.
To wit: Reynolds is reportedly making phone calls to election experts and potential supporters inquiring about the logistics of running for embattled U.S. Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr.’s seat — if Triple J resigns as a result of a federal probe into possible misuse of campaign funds.
Do not be fooled by the child predator mustache. Mel Reynolds actually is a child predator. In fact, in 1995, he was forced to resign his seat in Congress (the one Jackson Jr. eventually won for himself) after it was revealed inappropriate sexual relationship with a 16 year old campaign worker, leading to a conviction on 12 counts of sexual assault and solicitation of child pornography. And if that wasn’t enough, partway through his jail term, Reynolds was also convicted of 15 unrelated counts of bank fraud and lying to the SEC.
Luckily for us, Bill Clinton is a man once known for having sex for a campaign worker, so he took pity on another gentleman in the same situation, commuting Reynolds sentence and then pardoning him. Reynolds was then hired by Jesse Jackson’s Rainbow PUSH coalition to be – get this – their youth counselor.
Because, well, obviously.
Now, thanks to a loophole in the law which bars Reynolds from holding municipal office but not federal office, it seems he’s ready to return to serving the public. And this is the perfect opportunity. Or something.