Morning Report: The weekend update

This is a holiday week, so while most Americans are stressing out over cooking a bird, dreading spending quality time with their families, and calling their bookies about a Wednesday football game, Congress will probably be making like, a million deals you hate. God Bless America!

1. A man with a limited grasp of technology is leading the pack to head up the House Committee on Science and Technology.

2. The White House is totally fine with you going after them instead of Susan Rice, unless this is about who changed Susan Rice’s Benghazi talking points before she went on television. It is totally not the guy who was probably briefed that Benghazi was a terrorist operation before she went on television.

3. He may know how to pronounce PAH-kee-STAHN properly, but don’t ask him how to address the President of Myanmar. Which is technically not how the US refers to Burma, anyway.

4. Chris Christie is doing sketch comedy now.

5. The GOP almost had it right on copyright. But then the lobbyists happened.

Good luck, America. It’s only Monday.

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  1. Earthlings on Mars

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