Morning Report: Back to the grind

Most of last week, I spent looking like Mitt Romney does in that picture.

Which would have been an awesome picture to release sometime around June when everyone became completely convinced that he was robotic in nature. Look at his hair, people. It obviously moves. Granted, it obviously moves after he’s spent almost three weeks in his pajamas in his bed crying and eating Ben & Jerry’s, but it proves, at least, that he’s human. And that when he’s sad, he watches Lifetime movies. Except Liz and Dick. No one should ever have to watch Liz and Dick unless they were being punished for something.

1. The Fourth Circuit Court sketched on ruling on Obamacare’s contraceptive provision mandate by knocking the case out completely on summary judgment because according to them, there was no question of law. Apparently, the Supreme Court disagrees.

2. Before the election, the Obama Administration was all hot and bothered about putting together a rule book for Presidents who might need to kill random people with drones. Now that he’s won a second term, however, President Obama is all like, yeah, that doesn’t apply to me, but thanks.

3. Our commitment to nation building in Egypt has had some awesome results.

4. Jamie Foxx is kind of a terrible comedian. Which isn’t entirely unexpected since he’s also a terrible actor and singer.

5. The Republican party is looking for a fresh new face and attitude for 2016. Which is why early chatter seems to indicate that a third dude named Bush is being seriously considered.

Welcome back, America.

  1. Earthlings on Mars
  2. emily
  3. pithnvinegar

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