Convicted child predator will run for Illinois Congressional seat, still probably win.

Just a few short days ago, we told you about Mel Reynolds, the disgraced former Congressman from Jesse Jackson Jr.’s district who was forced to step down after being convicted of soliciting child pornography and of statutory rape (among other things such as bank fraud, which is kind of small potatoes when you’re trying to get with kids, I guess), was thinking of throwing his hat and creepy creeper mustache back in the ring after Jesse stepped down in the face of his own indictment.

Well, good news, America. Mel Reynolds is pretty sure that he’s not nearly as felonious as his successor and possibly predecessor, and he’s declared his candidacy for Congress.

The actual headline of this says something like “disgraced former Congressman” but if one were, say, actually disgraced, one probably wouldn’t consider a second run at an office he was ousted from after a variety of run-ins with the law a good idea. It’s sort of more like this guy is “shameless” or “ridiculous” or even, “insane.” But, if Jesse Jackson Jr. is any indication, all of those can be completely disregarded by voters. Actually, even “completely absent” isn’t fair game anymore. Actually, Reynolds replaced another perv who had relations with a Peace Corps volunteer while he was on a “fact finding” mission in Africa. So the cycle would just be continuing unabated.

For his part, Reynolds says that being convicted of being a perv “should not be a life sentence” and he neglected to mention whether he was sorry for his crimes. Chicago voters, for their part, are completely ignoring this whole process under the assumption that someone will just tell them who to vote for anyway, so why any of this matters is beyond them. Plus, this time, the candidate comes pre-indicted, so there aren’t any nasty surprises. Or, at least none we can’t accurately predict.

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