Morning Report: Off the cliff

Yesterday, a bunch of protesters entered John Boehner’s office to express their opposition to cutting funding for AIDS research as part of the fiscal cliff deal. Because John Boehner isn’t John Kerry, and they lack the kind of self-awareness that typically accompany protests that involve clothing, they shouted about the budget while dancing around in the nude.

Because, obviously.

Now, my question isn’t so much why they would do this. Everyone knows why. Obviously it gets attention and given the visual accompaniment to this story, it’s clear that not too many people want to see these guys naked, so they feel the need to force the issue. My question is more along the lines of why we don’t do more naked protests. I mean, it clearly gets attention and our women are much more attractive.

1. Apparently, Susan Rice is pretty sure that there wasn’t a protest before the Benghazi attacks, a point which she made clear in meetings yesterday with the people who accused her of being pretty sure there wasn’t a protest before the Benghazi attacks, but saying there was on national television anyway.

2. The State Department, an obvious authority on these things, says Egyptian President Morsi, who recently declared himself the dictator, is not anywhere near being an autocrat. Because autocrats wear military uniforms.

3. For every 1.6 people employed in the private sector, there is now 1 person on welfare.

4. But look on the bright side! The Obama Administration’s plan to raise taxes in order to increase government revenue would cover at least eight more days of government operation!

5. This is about to be the world’s most awkward lunch date probably ever.

Good luck, America. It’s only Wednesday.

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  1. Earthlings on Mars

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