Morning Report: No regrets.

Keep chugging, America. You only have one day left in this week. What could possibly happen?

Heh. I know what I did there, too.

1. The Romney campaign has no regrets. And frankly, it shouldn’t. Look. Americans are traditionally opposed to the idea of electing robots, and yet a lot of people got on board. Would you have rather had Michelle Bachmann? No? Well, then.

2. If you raise taxes today, Barack Obama will totally cut that spending, like, someday. Maybe next Tuesday. But you can totally believe him on this. Especially since, when taken together, his tax increases will fund his current spending plan for eight whole days.

3. It’s possible that Michigan may dissolve the city of Detroit. Even without the assistance of a nuclear apocalypse.

4. It is likely that the Post Office will no longer be delivering on Saturdays. Not that you noticed that they still delivered your grocery circulars and credit cards offers on Saturday.

5. The Senate Intelligence Committee has commissioned a report designed to determine which US prisons can handle taking on Guantanamo Bay prisoners. May we suggest the city of Detroit? Two birds, one stone.

Good luck, America. At least you’re not Detroit.

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