Morning Report: Back in the game

No, I am not secretly the Duchess of Cambridge. My hair is not nearly that good. Actually it sucks. It only holds a curl when the curl is the result of a day long half-baked bun.

I went missing because I went on a trip to Boston to close out the Romney campaign by getting drunk with a number of Romney staffers. I think the world is better for us having done this.

I hear Harry is still single though. I’m not, but you know.

1. Fannie and Freddie executives made $92 million last year when their companies were supposedly in such dire economic straits that they were not only draining the taxpayer coffers but dragging the whole economy down as well.

2. Now we can fully understand why Tim Geithner was put in charge of the Fiscal Cliff negotiations. While the Obama Administration has designs on raising taxes, Tim is in charge of making sure no one actually has to pay them.

3. Good news! Egypt is a rousing success for American nation building! Except for that part where they declared martial law in the run up to ratifying their constitution which makes their leader a dictator.

4. Not only did the White House find it impossible to get a Santa with a real beard, but they repeatedly spelled Santa’s name wrong in the official transcript. WAR ON CHRISTMAS.

5. Back in November, the labor unions attempted to codify collective bargaining rights in the Michigan so that public sector employee unions would never have to renegotiate the contracts that are destroying the state’s financial outlook. In response, Michigan decided to become a right-to-work state last week. In response, the unions did the only thing they know how to do: whine to mommy.

It’s gonna be a good week, America. Santa says so.

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