Obama says Congress should totally raise taxes because of hurricane, school shooting.

President Obama held a press conference today where he listed out a number of reasons why, up untilright now, he had not addressed the assault weapons ban which totally expired under the last guy and which he has made the crown jewel in his American Safety Program. He also addressed the doomsday scenario for the Fiscal Cliff which is apparently what the Mayans were talking about when they scheduled the end of the world for Friday. Turns out, they were big on capital gains.

Of course, somewhere within the conference, Obama decided to bring up the possibility of compromising on Fiscal Cliff budget decisions, at least when it comes to John Boehner compromising by agreeing to Obama’s debt relief plan. After all, this is the holiday season, and in the holiday season, you do what the Baby Jesus wants you to. And if all of these tragedies are any indication, the Baby Jesus clearly wants higher taxes on rich people.

They understand that they’re not going to get 100 percent of what they want. And for some reason, that message has not yet taken up on Capitol Hill. And when you think about what we’ve gone through over the last couple of months — a devastating hurricane, and now one of the worst tragedies in our memory, the country deserves folks to be willing to compromise on behalf of the greater good and not tangle themselves up in a whole bunch of ideological positions that don’t make much sense.

Well, good news for Baby Jesus, then, because it looks like Boehner’s Plan B, which allows tax cuts for anyone making $400K and above to expire, is headed to passage in the House, making it just the kind of compromise that could put an end to the deep and nagging heartache that the American people feel at this dark moment. Except, of course, that in order for it to pass, Barack Obama has to pressure Senate Democrats to…yeah…compromise.

In an afternoon news conference that lasted less than one minute, Boehner said the House would pass his “Plan B” on Thursday “to make permanent tax relief for nearly every American – 99.81 percent of the American people.”

“I hope the president will get serious soon about providing and working with us on a balanced approach,” Boehner said. “Then the president will have this decision to make: He can call on Senate Democrats to pass that bill or he can be responsible for the largest tax increase in American history.”

Thankfully, the Senate Democrats are responding with characteristic rationality. This morning, Chuck Schumer, who supported this same plan when it raised taxes on people making over $250K, called the Boehner Plan B a “middle class tax hike,” which it probably is, but it’s not like Chuck Schumer is going to figure that out.

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