Morning Report: Winter is coming.

Apparently, Chicago is supposed to be buried under some sort of blizzard tonight. Which I guess is perfect for the end of the world. Or something. All I know is its supposed to start snowing during rush hour which will mean that absolutely no one will get home tonight before 8pm, because despite having snow every single winter, everyone will, by now, have forgotten how to drive in it.

AWESOME. End of the world. Yep.

1. Obama enjoys doing the Gangnam Style dance around the White House when he’s alone.

2. The new movie about Bin Laden’s capture, Zero Dark Thirty, is apparently not the feel-good liberal tome the administration thought it would be. In fact, even John McCain is all riled up because the film seems to indicate that torturing terrorists gets information out of them.

3. Lots of people joined the NRA this week.

4. The New York Times has finally joined the ranks of the hipster racists.

5. The Teachers Unions are very sad about what happened in Connecticut. Now, why won’t you all just admit that charter schools kill children?

Pray for me, America. I don’t own a snow shovel.

  1. Earthlings on Mars
  2. Earthlings on Mars

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