Morning Report: The holiday rush

We’re past Christmas and the Mayan apocalypse. We all survived. I think.

1. President Obama returns from Hawaii today to take care of the Fiscal Cliff thing that we all know won’t get solved until way too late for the IRS to be able to catch up in time for you to submit your taxes, causing mass pandemonium. But that’s fine since he’s already finished golfing with sex offenders.

2. A lot of American workers are considered “disabled” now that it’s tough to get long-term unemployment for a long enough term for the economy to turn around. But at least the unemployment numbers are going down!

3. No one wants to go to the inauguration. Which is understandable given how many people are now disabled.

4. As it turns out, the TSA does look at your naked photos. And they like what they see. A lot.

5. No one shopped for Christmas this year. Which is understandable given how many people are now disabled. Although, it seems home shopping was not up. Weird.

Only a few more days left in 2012, people. Time to get your last year’s resolutions done before they’re next year’s resolutions!

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