Nancy Pelosi would like you to please open this bathroom door, goddamit.

The Fiscal Cliff negotiations have descended intoLifetimemovie territory. Where once it was a behind-closed-doors hammering-out of a compromise deal that pleased no one, it has now become that moment in everybody’s lives where someone hasn’t had enough PMS medication and has locked themselves in the house’s only bathroom sobbing endlessly over the fact that the chocolate drawer wasn’t as well stocked as they’d hoped. Only in this scenario, the PMS’er is John Boehner and the sitting on the carpet outside pounding on the door and screaming about throwing themselves into traffic if this doordoesn’t open right now is Nancy Pelosi.

Baby come back. Any kind of fool could see, there was something – and everything – about you.

“House Democrats have been standing ready and willing to return to Washington to vote on critical issues including the middle class tax cuts, Sandy disaster relief, the Violence Against Women Act, the Farm Bill – all while we continue to work on a bipartisan solution to avoid the fiscal cliff.  There are plenty of reasons for this Do-Nothing Congress to get back to work.

“The House Republican leadership has run out of excuses and out of time.  Their inaction continues to threaten middle class Americans with higher taxes.

“With five days left before the fiscal cliff,  Speaker Boehner should immediately call the House back into session to allow a vote on the Senate-passed middle class tax cut bill that the President has said he would sign immediately.”

Notice the concern is pretty much only about the Fiscal Cliff, and that’s because the Sand relief is a pork bill, the Violence Against Women Act is loaded with funding for a bunch of bureaucratic organizations that have been producing the same brochures on domestic violence since Truman was in office, and the Farm Bill pays a lot of people to not grow a lot of food. The only one they’ll hear about from their constituency is probably the Fiscal Cliff bill, which Nancy seems especially concerned about, considering she’s done next to nothing on the subject for the last month as the deadline has loomed large.

The advantage here for Pelosi is kind of sketchy. If we go over the cliff, the media will have a week of daytime television to pump the “It’s all the GOP’s fault” message down the throats of vacationing adults, and John Boehner would be hard-pressed to take any heat now given that he could lose his position as Speaker as soon as January 3rd, which means he won’t be passing any tax hikes on anyone unless it’s absolutely necessary. As Hot Air points out, Obama’s hand gets stronger, no weaker, the longer this nonsense goes on, and frankly, there are enough idiots in Congress to pass pretty much anything, and enough space between now and the mid-term elections to take full advantage of the short attention span of the American voter. Plus, if you push through a tax plan that raises that lower bar above $400K, you’re gonna have to start whipping, and Obama just doesn’t have time for that and his New Years tee times.

Guess we’ll see what happens on Sunday. Other than Boehner coming to work in his PJs.

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