Good news! Government workers will not starve in the zombie apocalypse.

Everyone is feeling a little stretched after the holidays. After all, in this economy, once you’ve spent all that money on presents for people you don’t like but feel obligated to pretend you do, anyway, it’s a lot harder to afford those hobo beans and cases of Ramen. You might be facing a food shortage, a tax increase, skyrocketing milk prices, dramatically increasing insurance premiums for anyone who finds government-provided health care less than an exciting advancement, a potential Fiscal Cliff payroll tax hike, and the looming expense of Obamacare, so you’re probably a tiny bit nervous that your paycheck isn’t going to completely cover it all.

But don’t worry your pretty little head. The government has everything under control. At the moment where the American people need a break the most, they’re conserving your money like it’s the last shotgun shell in the zombie apocalypse.

Which is to say that the President just ordered Joe Biden a taxpayer-funded pay raise by Executive Order.

President Barack Obama issued an executive order to end the pay freeze on federal employees, in effect giving some federal workers a raise. One federal worker now to receive a pay increase is Vice President Joe Biden.

According to disclosure forms, Biden made a cool $225,521 last year. After the pay increase, he’ll now make $231,900 per year.

Members of Congress, from the House and Senate, also will receive a little bump, as their annual salary will go from $174,000 to 174,900. Leadership in Congress, including the speaker of the House, will likewise get an increase.

The new schedule of pay looks like this:

I mean, after all, they’re doing a really fantastic job. Why not give them a pay raise?



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