Morning Report: The milestone

I still feel like crap today, America. But at least I don’t have to drag my ass into the White House to pretend I care about the Fiscal Cliff, I guess.

1. Lisa Jackson has resigned from the Environmental Protection Agency, which means that “Richard Windsor” will be running things from now on.

2. Last night, gun-controlled Chicago hit 500 murders, which makes our yearly total higher than LA County. And that’s just the ones they hit.

3. Yesterday, Sonia Sotomayor, who has an only slightly better grasp of the law than your average floor lamp, denied an injunction that would have prevented the HHS contraception mandate from going into effect before litigation on the subject had concluded. Today, the litigant, Hobby Lobby, said it would defy the mandate anyway.

4. Michael Moore would like you to please leave Piers Morgan alone. Or he’ll make a video where he cries about it and his mascara runs into his neck fat.

5. Weirdly, in the decade after the UK instituted a national gun ban, the number of gun deaths have doubled, while in the same period, incidents of gun violence in America declined. Except in Chicago. But we have bad aim anyway.

Ugh. Things will get better, America. Or we’ll all die. Either way.

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