Morning report: Splash city

This picture was taken over a year ago, but if you’re unable to afford a Hawaiian vacation because you might have just ended your payroll tax one, it’s probably enough to illustrate my point about the tragic nature of the Fiscal Cliff interrupting the Obama family vacation.

But let’s move on.

1. Despite the rumors that she hit herself in the head with a baseball bat in order to avoid testifying in front of Congress about whatever it is she was not set to testify about, Hillary Clinton will probably testify about Benghazi.

2. Apparently, at some point, Barack Obama proposed a Fiscal Cliff deal that included cuts to Medicare more severe than the ones included in the Affordable Care Act. Harry Reid didn’t like it. So he burned it. Literally. He literally burned the proposal.

3. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who is still employed for whatever reason, says that Democrats will not compromise or negotiate on the debt limit, because this is a bipartisan Congress and people need to get along. Or something.

4. Weekly jobless claims have jumped up to 375K. Unexpectedly.

5. Republicans are willing to band together to unseat Speaker Boehner! Except no one else wants to be speaker. Which is kind of a problem when you want to unseat the guy who holds the job.

Happy Thursday that feels like a Monday, America!

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