57th Inaugruation proudly selling you tube socks now.

The campaign team that brought you such unforgettable merchandise as Barack Obama nail polish or that ugly sh*t that Beyonce designed for their Anna Wintour-curated overpriced designer boutique that looked like second graders had taken to someone’s white tee shirt with limited brain function and a Sharpie, have opened an online and brick-and-mortar DC store to sell you precious Inauguration baubles that will no doubt finance that campaign debt Obama racked up paying these people.

At any rate, you can now purchase Obama-branded tube socks. In case that was something you needed.

President Barack Obama’s inaugural team is opening an online and brick-and-mortar store to sell souvenirs including a commemorative poster by famed artist Chuck Close.

The Presidential Inaugural Committee launched the online store Thursday. A retail store a few blocks from the White House was scheduled to open Jan. 11. The goods, ranging from $2.50 rulers to $30 champagne flutes to a $7,500 medallion set, also will be sold at some Washington hotels around the Jan. 21 inauguration.

Technically, the $7,500 commemorative campaign medallion set is only $7,500 if you’re one of those uppity people who need their commemorative campaign medallions to be cast in gold and to come in a box. The rest of you peons can enjoy your lesser commemorative campaign medallions die cast in silver for only $1,250 each. And both options come with an immediate, automatic tax increase, if only because you should absolutely be punished for purchasing things like gold coins.

The store also advertises a commemorative poster designed by Chuck Close, but really, the poster is just a photo of the President printed on what appears to be a Band-aid. The site assures you, however, that you are, in fact, paying $100 per print for something that was uploaded into Photoshop and subject to at least two stock filters.

But you should really buy the tube socks.

  1. Anthony Bialy

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