You, too, can own this giant rock that looks like Iowa with Romney’s name on it.

Imagine, for a moment, that you enjoy the finer things in life. Marble, caviar, those toilets that wash you after you’re finished. Your home speaks volumes about who you are and what you value. And what you value is awesome. But there’s always been something missing. Something’s…just not right. Something’s missing.

Now, imagine for a moment that your home had a giant, 300lb steel slab with the Romney 2012 logo cut into it. Perhaps it’s a wall hanging. Perhaps it’s a coffee table. But one thing is for certain: it’s the thing you’ve always wanted and it will fill the hole you have inside you. If only it were real.

No, wait. There’s no need to imagine. One Iowa office park landlord has just the 300lb steel slab you’re looking for. And what’s more? It’s free to a good home as long as you come and haul it away.

This would be priceless. If it weren’t also free.

UPDATE: Here’s a photo of the steel plate in action!

IT all could be yours, America. It all could be yours.

  1. Earthlings on Mars
  2. bitches

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