Al Gore now worth more than notorious rich guy Mitt Romney

Remember back in October when it was an absolute crime to have more money than lots of other people, and how Mitt Romney was completely unable to relate to the common man because someone who had a bank account that was regularly flush enough to buy ponies for an entire fifth grade class clearly found compassion impossible?

Well, Al Gore is about to publish a second book called The Future in which he details out his personal robot utopia, no doubt designed to save humanity from themselves, and when you combine the amount of money he received to inflict himself on yet another generation of Whole Language readers with the cash he hauled in from his mascot duties at Apple, his sale of CurrentTV to Qatar’s oil magnates, and his earnings from investment, it turns out that all this pseudo-compassionate environmentalism is a real money-maker.

That check landed close behind Gore’s estimated $100 million profit on the sale of Current TV to al-Jazeera, a deal in the waning hours of 2012 that sent Gore bashers into orbit. Gore is also a co-founder, along with former Goldman Sachs executive David Blood, of Generation Investment Management, a private partnership that pursues what Gore calls sustainable capitalism. With more than $3.5 billion under management, the firm pursues Gore’s belief that companies prosper over the long haul if they pay attention to values beyond the quarterly earnings report.

Through these and other enterprises, Gore has built his net worth to some $300 million, according to the scorekeepers at Forbes. By their measure, he is now richer than the renowned super­capitalist Mitt Romney.

Which, by definition, makes him history’s greatest villain. Although Gore himself goes on to pin the ills of society on the horrors of “moneyed special interests,” a group which he neglects to note includes “Al Gore,” who has routinely petitioned Congress to extend loans and grants to alternative energy companies in the name of Earth’s survival only to reap financial benefits from his position on said companies’ boards. Remember those carbon credit exchanges that were really popular in the early 2000s? Yeah, so does Al Gore, because they earned him the initial fortune he needed to make everyone else’s lives subject to the endless whining of a whole new generation of Rachel Carson disciples.

Thankfully, the Prophet of Earth’s Doom is well within safe ideological boundaries or he’d be considered a bastard supercapitalist himself.

P.S. Incidentally, as Apple’s citizen shareholders take a bath today, Al Gore is exercising a stock option awarded to him as a member of Apple’s board of directors, letting him cash a cool $30M out of the company.

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