Jay Carney would like you to imagine the economy as a dancer, if you will.

If you are concerned with the fact that the economy shrunk last quarter (unexpectedly! even though people predicted it! because the same dude is still in charge! ZOMG), resulting from the steepest drop in production and most sluggish earnings growth since the end of the recession, you needn’t worry. Although the current administration can no longer blame the last administration because the last administration was them, they would like to assure you that this is all happening because the economy just isn’t ready to take that big leap forward.

It’s like a butterfly that just isn’t ready to emerge from its chrysalis. Don’t worry, it will be beautiful and awesome and spectacular whenever they get around to pushing it juuuuust a little more. And in the meantime, they’re totally working on the economy’s self-esteem because it lost weight and that’s an accomplishment, America. That’s an accomplishment.

  1. Earthlings on Mars

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