Morning Update: Weekend catchup.

I spent my weekend visiting family members. There are more of me, America.

And yes, you should be so lucky.

Let’s catch up from what we missed, shall we?

1. Leon Panetta can’t explain why, when they called Barack Obama at 3am, he didn’t answer. And never called back. Because he totally didn’t have Leon Panetta’s number, and then there was this thing with his family and he totally had to wash his hair and stuff.

2. Dan Rather has no idea why anyone would think those George W. Bush Air National Guard documents were forged. Because they weren’t and you can’t prove it so nyah.

3. Alan Keyes is still around. And still nuts. And pretty sure the government is going to kill him.

4. Nancy Pelosi doesn’t think that America has a spending problem. It’s all basically made up.

5. Michelle Obama and Bill Clinton were shut out at the Grammys. Probably because they didn’t fit the dress code.

It’s a new week, America.

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