Marco Rubio still lives in kind of a crappy neighborhood, but with a nice house

Rubio_CNNCNN may be fretting away over whether Marco Rubio has taken a career ending sip of Poland Springs water on camera, but it seems the more dedicated leftists have abandoned all hope of destroying the Senator from Florida by pasting their padded walls with .gifs of Marco Rubio carelessly wetting his throat before responding (in two languages!) to the President’s State of the Union Address, and have taken up the mantle of finding Marco Rubio’s for-sale home on a map of Miami and wailing about his lack of working-class surroundings.

During his speech, Rubio referenced his home, noting that he still lives in the same Spanish-speaking blue-collar neighborhood where he grew up, as a means of reassuring people that he had some connection to their dismal economic outlook (a connection Jay Carney quickly attempted to debunk, but that’s Jay Carney).

Mr. President, I still live in the same working class neighborhood I grew up in. My neighbors aren’t millionaires. They’re retirees who depend on Social Security and Medicare. They’re workers who have to get up early tomorrow morning and go to work to pay the bills. They’re immigrants, who came here because they were stuck in poverty in countries where the government dominated the economy.

Rubio grew up in West Miami and until 2005, owned a $175,000 home on SW 14th street. In 2005, when he started earning a substantially greater salary, he bought a house one block up for a whopping $550,000. Which is dumb, but whatever. It was 2005. People in 2005 were nonchalantly not stocking up on canned food and weaponry, and still pretty sure life was going to be awesome forever and that the zombie apocalypse was decades, if not centuries away, rather than just around the corner. Everyone overpaid. And now that he’s ready to move his wife and kids to DC, Rubio has his house on the market for $675K.

The house is nice, but it’s not $675K nice. In fact, Rubio’s price is a teensy bit ambitious for the neighborhood. But we’ll get to that later. Check out the GIANT MANSION that Rubio occupies, rendering him completely out of touch with the common man.


And the kitchen is like a shoebox, but it does feature Marco Rubio’s now-trademark BOTTLE OF CAREER KILLER.


Backyard is nice. Trampoline is kind of cool.

The neighborhood? Not a place where you’d expect a $675K home. In fact, despite the Rubio family’s asking price, homes in the general area only have a media worth of around $250K, and that’s due, in part at least, to a few high-end homes like Rubio’s scattered among a wealth of $150K – $200K ranch houses.


Some quick research also seems to indicate that the neighborhood has some pretty solid middle-class credentials. Approximately 70% of the neighborhood’s residents are Cuban, more than any other neighborhood in America, and 91% of the residents speak Spanish as a primary language. About 66% of all residents of West Miami are immigrants and many serve in the military. The median income of the neighborhood is lower than in about 70% of all other US neighborhoods, and there is a 10% poverty rate for children 17 and under, which isn’t something to brag about, but it does show he has some familiarity with the concept. So sure, he may live better than most of his neighbors, but he still lives with them.

And yes, he’s selling, but if he moves out, so what? Isn’t that what people are supposed to do? Get more education and better jobs and move on to better things? I suspect most of his neighbors would want to see their children move up in the world, not down, on to the Federal dole. Barack Obama may live on the South Side of Chicago, just blocks from where children have been victimized by gang violence, but he also bought sprawling Kenwood mansion home for $1.65 million and bought up part of an adjoining lot so that he could plant tress that blocked his view of the little people, after, of course, working out a suspicious land deal with now-convicted felon, Tony Rezko.

Middle class, he ain’t. And actually, never was. At least Rubio kind of, sort of still fits that.

Until he drank the water of course. Now it’s all over.

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