Ex-Mr. Taylor Swift gets arrested for being an insane environmentalist, inspires new song probably

keystone15n-3-webI am not Taylor Swift’s biggest fan by any stretch. I mean, look, I had a sh*tty high school experience, too, and dated a bunch of idiots, but there’s only so much time you can spend dwelling on your problems. After a while, you just look like you’re doing it for the attention. And when you go through like, 13 guys in three years, the problem might very well be you. Or, at least, your inability to pick good dudes.

On at least one account, I can now see her side of the story. It seems former Mr. Taylor Swift, Conor Kennedy (not to be confused with hipster icon Cory Kennedy, who is a girl, though the jury is still out on that with Conor as you’ll see), who she bought a house near because OMG THEY WERE IN LURVE, has some odd ideas about love, and, for the record, an apparently complete inability to grow facial hair, and some curious ideas about domestic energy production.

First Taylor Swift dumps him, now the cops are booking him.

Conor Kennedy was one of 47 environmental activists arrested outside the White House on Wednesday.

They were protesting construction of the Keystone XL pipeline, which would bring oil from the tar sands of Canada. Kennedy’s father, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., actress Daryl Hannah and civil rights activist Julian Bond were among those arrested.

Apparently, Kennedy(s) were released on bond shortly thereafter, as a surprise to no one, considering that their family has a proud history of both committing crimes and failing to answer for them. For the Sierra Club’s part, they’re proud of the sudden notoriety they’ve achieved and are holding out hope for a top 40 hit entitled, “You Cheated On Me With Mother Earth.”
Always hope for your message to eek out through culture, people. It’s the only way.

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