A half million dollars will get you lunch with Barack Obama.

Harvey Weinstein had a dream of being presented with an Oscar by Michelle Obama. So he bought it. Only problem was that he didn’t win an Oscar, so that got f***ed up. The point is, though, when you have enough money, you can make all of your wildest dreams come true. And if you’re really crazy, you can make all the dreams no one has ever had also come true. Like a carousel in your living room. Although I might have actually had that one.

Anywhoo, access to the President has typically been reserved for those who can afford private jets and large donations so SuperPACs; influence-peddling is a pastime of the super-rich. But Obama is a man of the people. He’s not one to leave the 99% out in the cold. He cares about the plight of the little people. And so, with the help of the latest incarnation of the Obama 2012 campaign, Organizing for Action, President Obama is taking influence peddling out of the hands of the super rich…and putting it into the hands of the still-pretty-rich-but-not-as-rich.

The goal is to harness those resources in support of Mr. Obama’s second-term policy priorities, including efforts to curb gun violence and climate change and overhaul immigration procedures. Those efforts began Friday, when thousands of Obama supporters were deployed through more than 80 Congressional districts around the country to rally outside lawmakers’ offices, hold vigils and bombard Congress with e-mails and phone calls urging members to support stricter background checks for gun buyers…

But those contributions will also translate into access, according to donors courted by the president’s aides. Next month, Organizing for Action will hold a “founders summit” at a hotel near the White House, where donors paying $50,000 each will mingle with Mr. Obama’s former campaign manager, Jim Messina, and Mr. Carson, who previously led the White House Office of Public Engagement.

Giving or raising $500,000 or more puts donors on a national advisory board for Mr. Obama’s group and the privilege of attending quarterly meetings with the president, along with other meetings at the White House. Moreover, the new cash demands on Mr. Obama’s top donors and bundlers come as many of them are angling for appointments to administration jobs or ambassadorships.

That’s right. A cool half mil, which you can either donate or collect from other donors, will buy you a spot on an “advisory board,” that will have a quarterly meeting with the President, essentially meaning that with a nice, solid check to his new organization – which is not affiliated or likely to share information with the rest of the Democratic party, as previous investigations have revealed – will buy you access to the President. And Obama is looking to raise $50 million.

Which means the President who initially campaign on getting big money special interests out of DC will be looking to take checks directly from at least 100 deep-pocketed people, making it suspiciously like a SuperPAC. Just dressed like a hippie.

Of course, this all raises a lot of questions. But fear not! Jay Carney has this awesome piece of paper that people have written down totally acceptable answers to every single one of your questions. And they are all “Organizing for Action is totally not affiliated with this President in any way, I don’t even understand why you would ask something so ridiculous. Thanks for listening, America.”

After a few minutes, Carney just runs away. Which was probably the best way he could have handled that situation.

Because, well….yeah.

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That’s right. Barack Obama is in no way affiliated with Organizing for Action. Except for that part where Organizing for Action owns his Twitter profile. That is his name.

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