Anthony Weiner is probs creepier than you thought, writes his own 50 Shades of Grey

Everyone knows that Anthony Weiner is a sketch who once used Twitter to send photos of his penis to random ladies on social media, but it turns out, he might also be an asshole who had lengthy online relationships with women who he also, occasionally, banged in real life.

According to the gossip website, The Dirty, who obtained one such lady’s direct message files, there was, allegedly, at least one woman in Anthony Weiner’s life who thought he was in love with her and wanted a long enough physical relationship that he intended to buy her an expensive townhouse in Chicago, and she grabbed their conversations on Formspring and Twitter. The conversations are not confirmed (obviously), but she claims to be confident that she was speaking to the real Anthony Weiner.

Oh, and bonus? He’s going by a pseudonym. Carlos Danger.


So she’s a blogger, probably a state-level blogger who doesn’t have a huge presence. Oh, and she’s a cat person.

24e21That, of course, explains the weird suggestive photos Andrew Breitbart uncovered that showed Anthony Weiner sitting on his couch in his underwear next to sleeping kitties that we love to use any time Anthony Weiner comes up in the news. She was also, apparently, turned on by his “health care rants.” So there’s that.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, according to the messages, this was after all of his d*ck pictures were already all over the Internet, and continued until around August of last year, which is conveniently around the time feeler polls began to surface for an Anthony Weiner mayoral race.

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Since this is sort of a family show, we’ll let you read the more explicit (no, seriously, pornographic) direct messages on your own. They aren’t safe for work, and they certainly aren’t safe for anyone who ever wants to look upon Anthony Weiner without having their respective genitals curl up inside their abdomens never to be seen again. Also, they don’t really make sense logistically, which at least makes them slightly entertaining, especially when you consider that she claims that Weiner also had some intriguing sexual preferences, including a shoe fetish, which, of course, puts him in good company with Eliot Spitzer who kept his lovely black socks on during sex with numerous high-priced call girls.

The girl claims that she and Weiner spoke on the phone several times a day for around six months and that most of the calls were phone sex. She claims that she and Weiner were in love, but it seems, at least from the evidence gathered by The Dirty, that the majority of their interactions were sexual and not emotional in nature, though she does maintain that Weiner was interested in purchasing her a pricey Chicago condo at 1235 S. Prairie Ave., an address in the hip, gentrifying South Loop area, right across from Soldier Field, where one- and two-bedroom easily fetch from a quarter to a half million. And the crazier Twitter messages do belie a little bit of depression on Weiner’s part, which is quickly forgotten when you realize how gross he is.

Of course, according to Anthony Weiner, he had no such relationship with anyone. Probably not even his wife. Not even that goat that once gored him on television. And certainly not a person who, by circumstantial evidence, seems to be a blogger in a swing state.

The Anthony Weiner for Mayor campaign has not responded to requests for comment.

NOTE: NakedDC does accept tips. Clearly, this woman is a liberal blogger and we’d like to know who it is. Contact us right here with any information.

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