The day after Thanksgiving, Scott Walker sent out a fundraising email that seemed to have been asking supporters to forgo buying Christmas gifts for their children, and instead spend that money on Walker’s re-election campaign. After all, what can you buy for your kids that could ever compare with the state of Wisconsin? Other than anything, of course.
Anyway, it’s ridiculous that any politician should make you choose between contributing to his future and giving your kid awesome Christmas presents, because, as we see from at least one Missouri company, it’s possible to do both at the same time. Ladies and gentlemen, your Christmas shopping is over. The Ted Cruz coloring book is here.
Now your children can “Cruz to the future” with the junior Senator from Texas, while they learn about his commitment to family values, his support for the Second Amendment (there’s a page where children can even color in “hunting guy Ted” who is holding a giant shotgun), and even his 21-hour “filibuster” which the book mentions was undertaken with “clairvoyant precision.”
There are more pages, but that defeats the purpose of selling the coloring book, so you can just seek those out for yourself. Also, these pages were threatening to give us nightmares, so we have to limit our own exposure. You can order your very own Ted Cruz coloring book from Really Big Coloring Books, Inc. which seems to offer the book in sizes up to two feet.